Relationship of any kind is complex in nature. As long as
things are fine relationship goes well but it is very difficult to judge or
predict when it can turn sour. I am not here to discuss the Behavioral science
of human nature. They are far too complex to understand by a common man like
me. I have only questions in mind about those relations.
There was a time when three or four generations living
harmoniously and happily under one roof. The head of the family was like Godfather
who used to command immense respect from each of the family members
irrespective of their age. Men folks used to earn, women folks looking after
household chores like kitchen, cleaning, looking after children, washing
clothes etc. Every thing was shared by all equally. There was no sign of
jealousy and back biting. The head of
the family had the last say in every matter of the house and every body used to
listen and abide by them without any questions asked! This may be out of
respect or fear, nobody bothered. Every
thing was accepted without any grouse, ill-will or opposition from any quarter.
Now, this concept of happy joint family is disappearing
barring some business community where all are in the same trade to look after
their business interest. The urge to go for greener pasture abroad, onset of
education, moving out for jobs, inter caste/ religion marriage, need of privacy
and space have all taken its toll on joint family. It has disintegrated to make
way for nuclear family concept. Individualism & self centeredness has crept
in the minds. While needs of family and their aspirations are going up, lack of
time, zeal and initiative are taking its toll on the family relationship.
Gone are the days when during summer holidays, all family
members with their children used to assemble in one place to spend quality time
with others. Children used to wait for summer holidays months ahead. They all
used to have gala time playing, going places, chit chatting and enjoying
movies/shopping without any ill feelings towards the other. Even after going
back to their respective homes, they used to be in touch with each other by way
of letters.
Now when a faster mode of communication like email and Skype
is available children have neither interest in bonding nor the time to be in
touch barring few of their friends. The love, affection, bonding, closeness of
yesteryears are no where visible now. What if they all have grown in age? It is
said that ‘Wisdom comes with age’ but here the wisdom seldom works! All such relationship
has now boiled down to say just ‘Hello’ or ‘How are you’ when they meet ‘by
chance’ and not beyond. Sometimes not even that. They do not have any other
matter to talk to. In fact, they don't feel the need to talk!
No serious issues, no differences, no fight, no arguments but
still the gulf between them widened silently over a period of time. If at all there were any unknown issues, not
necessarily between them directly, those issues may be pretty old amongst their
parents or even grand parents but not even known to children, the spill over
continues. The bonding of childhood days becomes very weak and sometimes arrogance & ego overpowers those relations.
Today very often we read and hear that without clinging to the past, one has to move on in life for happiness but does it anyway stops one from wondering as to how in a family these relations become sore leaving several unanswered questions of when, how & why it all went wrong?
Today very often we read and hear that without clinging to the past, one has to move on in life for happiness but does it anyway stops one from wondering as to how in a family these relations become sore leaving several unanswered questions of when, how & why it all went wrong?
