Sunday, September 26, 2010

The Marriage Reception

Indian marriages are solemnized as per the ‘Lagna’(Muhuratham) and the time is fixed by priests or the astrologer. This time is strictly followed and adhered to whereas the reception which follows once the marriage is over is left at the mercy of photographers, hair dresser and the beautician attending on the bride. I can say this more authentically as far as the marriages in South are concerned.


If the time of reception is printed as 6.30 pm in the invitation card, rest assured it will never commence before 7.30 or 8 pm. Those who make the mistake of being punctual are made to sit in front of a flower decorated podium with two ornamental reception chairs like those used in olden times by Kings and queens.  The invited guests helplessly wait and watch the photographers clicking the bride & groom in their best attires from different angles, first singly, than jointly and thereafter with family members. The younger family members in their glittering designer dress keep going round the marriage hall quite often like walking on a fashion show ramp. The reception is often delayed either because the bride is not ready having gone to a beauty parlor or else the photographer is not allowing them to go un-clicked to their heart content.

As soon as the married couple is ready to sit on their reception chair to receive the guests, there would be a mad rush to go ahead on the dais to hand shake, handover the gift and smile to be photographed as a token of attendance in the reception. Some restless souls who do not want to go through the ordeals of waiting in the queue first go for the buffet, fill their belly and later come to wish the young couple once the crowed gets thinner.

Once the buffet over and ‘tambulam’ (A pack of tender coconut, beetle leaf & beetle nut) handed over the reception comes to an end for the invited guest.  How nice it would be if the timings of the reception is mentioned as 7.30 or 8 pm on the invitation card so that all the rituals of make up and photography is finished before that time so that the invited guests do not have to wait and watch all the ‘happenings’ live cursing about the wastage of their time instead of blessing the newly wed!

27 comments:

  1. Well, in our case, it is the other way :) reception on the evening followed by knot tying ceremony the next morning :D
    Well, we all know what IST is about right? - Indian Stretched Time! Don't ever be that punctual for such Indian culture ceremonies : A lesson from my experience so far.

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  2. Well said! Lol@ Hairdressing and photographers!
    I've attended so many such receptions just looking at the empty dias,and filling the stomach first! We hardly realise to respect other's time here!
    In my reception, I made sure the function started at 6.30PM, on time. My beauty parlor saga was over well before time, and we had our photography session after the fucntion got over!!

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  3. Yes, I keep wondering too of how people can be late for their weddings!

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  4. Hello..interesting articles in this blog. Thank you too for the remark on my '10 phases of Life' show. Have a nice day!

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  5. Yes I have suffered similar Receptions and now avoid them as much as possible!

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  6. The delays are the real celebrations during wedding functions.

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  7. Comments through BUZZ-
    PEDDADA RAMA MALLESWARA RAO -
    IGNORING CERTAIN EVENTS IN HINDU MARRIAGE FUNCTION NOW DAYS BECOME COMMON AND MAIN CONCENTRATION ATTENDING THE DINNER GIVING GIFTS AND HAVE A PHOTOGRAPH OF ATTENDENCE. IT IS PRACTICE NO BOTHERATION OF MARRIAGE RUITALS AND OTHER FUNCTION WHICH ARE NECESSARY FOR HOLY UNION OF NEWLY WED COUPLE.
    ----------------------------------------
    Vidya Sury -
    What about the wedding reception before the day of the wedding to accommodate the availability of the mandapam/marriage hall? I always worry that if something happens to prevent the wedding from happening - what will they do with all the presents

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  8. More than the blessings and the food...its the registering of your presence that is more important..."showed my face"...as if you do it so that they come for your son's wedding!

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  9. Indian weddings are fun and vibrant! And delays are an essential part of them. Interesting write up.

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  10. its a big joke here in the UK too..if an indian invites you home for dinner and says 8PM, you'd probably find him running to buy chicken if you arrive dot at 8PM :) he would have just remembered that he has invited guests home..:)

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  11. it is tradition way to do things .

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  12. My sympathy for the wedded couple is usually surpassed by my willingness to accept free food!

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  13. ha ha.. that is sooo true. i tried my humble bit to change rules for my reception, but the age old customs like these can't be rectified :)

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  14. If they mentioned the time as 8 PM, it won't commence before 9 or 10 PM as often happens in north Indian barats and receptions!I prefer the wedding ceremony since it doesn't have all these 'posed' photo sessions with the invitees and we can bless the couple and come away in peace!

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  15. Lolz!! Very true Mr. Ayyangar. But with all these facts, Indian marriage is one event that I enjoy to the fullest.

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  16. Last day came across a news in london metro regarding problems with hosting of common wealth games and one of the comments i saw in that was 'Everything will be done by the time game starts, its like indian wedding things will be sorted just before the bride arrives'

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  17. Nearly half of the info is similar to me like reception and others,Good work..

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  18. That seems much better than some North Indian marriages where I hear the marriage does not start before 12 pm even if it was supposed to be 8pm.

    Mumbai marriages and receptions are very much on time probably due to the restrictions on the speakers I think.

    I have had the tambulam when I was down South in Karnataka. Did not know the name and I called it Pan because it is so similar.

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  19. Both marriage and reception the couple are not in charge. One is controlled by priest, other at the mercy of guests.

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  20. Our marriage reception was one of the worst time during my marriage. WE were almost dead during the reception time. If you can read kannada, I have written about my marriage @
    http://bhavana-pen.blogspot.com/2010/09/blog-post_18.html

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  21. In India marriages have become a medium for people to show their wealth ........

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  22. :) No point to changing the time on the invitation cards for reception. It will still start

    late. Better to arrive late. :|

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  23. "If the time of reception is printed as 6.30 pm in the invitation card, rest assured it will never commence before 7.30 or 8 pm" - This happens only in case of Brahmin weddings since the wedding and reception are on the same day!

    People who come from far off places to Wedding Halls would prefer to eat and then wish the couple. They would save the time instead of waiting.

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  24. Very nicely written..
    So very true about the mad rush of people on the dias!!

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  25. Hello,
    you were in the Indimeet right?
    i wanted to meet you but then I missed sorry.
    This is my first time on your blog.
    You have a wonderful blog.
    LL keep coming here often :)

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  26. Hindu marriages are becoming stupid. Reception before the Wedding ! Muhurtham is the most important part of the wedding. People come to the reception previous day ! What if marriage is terminated due to something on the day of the reception ? Have a simple wedding with family and close friends one day. Have a reception on a convenient evening on another day. Less expense and more sane !

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