Thursday, March 1, 2012

‘Bengaluru Auto Services’


Here is good news for those coming to ‘Namma Bengaluru’ (Hamara Bangalore). No more complaint galore against auto services. ‘Bengaluru Auto Services’ has just launched its operations in the city with professionally trained auto drivers for your riding pleasure without any hassle of arguments & fights! Don’t ask why this one more service to already existing ones. Here are the salient features of our services-


1-      On stopping the auto, you need not tell your destination. Auto driver himself will tell you which way he is going. You just have to hop in if you want to go his way otherwise let him go. If the driver does not like your face, he will not stop the auto but will politely nod his head or with hand signal from a distance indicating that he is not interested in taking you any where. So simple, you see. Happy conversation with the driver en-route.
2-      No need to check or recheck the meter reading. They have been properly tampered with as per our specification from approved shop. You need not pay a single paisa extra.
3-      Our auto drivers will never demand 1 & half times or double the meter fare during night times because they are already tuned to show double the fare from 7pm onwards up to 6 am. No headache of bargaining & argument.
4-      Our drivers have been specially trained to handle women passengers in case of any misbehavior or rape attempt by the driver. Shouting Women passengers or those seeking help from running auto will be done away with or thrown out of the auto. We ensure that number plate of the auto is not easily visible.
5-      Our 24 hours helpline will be boon to travelling public. Just wait for few hours if the person manning the helpline is unavailable. If you find the phone ‘engaged’ or ‘Busy’ like Telephones/Electricity/Gas agency offices, rest assured that the receiver has kept aside the phone and you need not waste your precious time and money on trying the number again and again.
6-      You can also avail our ‘Phone an Auto’ service. Sitting in front of TV set or sipping coffee with someone you love, just call us and our auto will be at your door steps any time as per ‘Indian time ‘habits after your repeated calls to us.
7-      Please note that our autos stationed at designated auto stands will never come any where. They are there to chit-chat or fight with fellow drivers and if at all they agree to come, will be free to charge on their whims & wishes without the meter.
8-      If there is a strike on account of ‘Bandh’ or call for protest against price rise etc, our autos will ply in the public interest charging only 4 to 5 times of normal fare. Share autos would be allowed but every occupant has to pay full amount.
9-      Please visit our website, which are never updated to know our other services. Remember, our motto is ‘Service with a smile on Auto Driver’s face’!

17 comments:

  1. Good satire..but you had me fooled in the beginning, (I actually thought they made some pleasant changes in the fraud system)..I have face the brunt of these crooks and to say the truth, they truly portray the corrupt nature of the Capital and its system.

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  2. haha- I have experienced this. In college times, we played pranks like; stopped autos, asked them "where do you go". When they answered we would say"alright go now" and leave him teased.

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  3. I was about to say... "Finally! some respire for the commuters who take autos frequently" :D
    LOL...

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  4. Hahaha...Ayyangar Sir..very tongue in cheek!

    Autowallahs all over the country are joined at the hip. Wondering if there exists a training academy?

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    1. Thanks Purba for the input.The auto drivers of 'Bengaluru Auto Services'have been rigorously trained by the best history sheeters from Police record who runs the training academy. They have been fully trained in manuring the auto from anywhere including one ways,blocking the city bus stops,using abusive language, in giving a nasty look and also to harp upon the passenger who dare to threaten them of police complaint.

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    2. I gone through the satire.This is a perticular situation in B'lore though auto wala's are more or less same in other cities too.In other cities no auto union claims that they are correcting themselves but B'lore's autowalas giving assurances more than 2 times in a year. Every time auto passangers hope for the good treatment from auto drivers but all expectation wipes out at the first ride.It is B'lore only where auto people behave ruthlessly and passangers have no help despite having mobile nos.of auto association & police help which always go blank. -Devendra Surjan, New York

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  5. A good post. This applies to many cities, esp. TN!
    Hyderabad auto persons are a little better. But seem to be learning for m other metros, now a days.

    Meter tampering is rampant in Hyderabad.

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  6. Lol, Sir! What a funny post but also sadly true :-O Your article reads as a classy and humor-filled petition for the service to improve.

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  7. First 5 lines made me seriously believe that there's some new service...may be because this is the first time i was going through your blog....but thn...hilarious post...kudos....

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  8. :-)
    Reminds me of my Bangalore days- i had to shell out 1.5 many a times. However, Sir, India is more or less same everywhere.

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  9. Maybe we could start buying private autos and drive it ourselves. Who knows, we might make some easy bucks on the side too :P

    Destination Infinity

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  10. Having borne the burnt of namma bengaluru auto drivers, i thought this was some relief after reading first few lines sir. You have almost captured all the grievances in a humorous way.

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  11. This reminds of an experience of mine at Bangalore. I must remember to pen it down one of these days :)

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  12. Thanks a lot,fore warned is fore armed !!!

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