(Even though this humorous article of mine was published way
back in January’1978 issue of “The
Weekly SUN” but holds good even now for
the present day lovers . The article is reproduced hereunder without any
changes/editing).
We are pleased to inform that an unique bank of its kind “The
Lover’s Bank Ltd” has been established to look after all kinds of lovers. It is
hard to find lover/lovers of one’s choice, hence why not bank with us? We
earnestly advise you to cultivate the habit of saving lovers for a happy future.
Here are our star attractions of various deposit schemes:
SAVINGS BANK A/c:- This account can be opened by depositing
one of your lovers with us. All your love letters will be credited to your
account and at the end of every six months, replies will be given at the rate
of 6% as half yearly interest. The following rules are to be observed strictly:
- Ten days advance notice for the withdrawal of more than two lovers.
- Cheque book facilities on deposit of 10 lovers. Encashment of kiss cheque restricted to ADULTS only.
- Incidental charges such as boarding/lodging to be paid half yearly.
CURRENT A/c:- This is meant for commercial people, clubs, associations
etc with an Overdraft facility.
FIXED/DOUBLE DEPOSIT A/c:- This account is best suited for
the future. Deposit any number of young lovers at a time for a longer period
and get back ‘Matured ‘lovers in your old age with higher rate of interest. You
can even take loan against your deposits.
LOAN SCHEMES: - Needy people can get loans provided they do
not have any lover in hand. Such persons will have to furnish the guarantee of
two respectable persons of repute who have never indulged in love affairs! The
person seeking loan has to give an undertaking that-
- She/he will repay the loan as early as possible.
- She/he will not misuse the loan.
- She/he will hang a board on neck while moving around with the lover carrying the following words in bold letters-‘Financed & Hypothecated to The Lover’s Bank Ltd.’
- Aged persons are also eligible for this loan provided they are in sound health and are confident that they will not kick the bucket earlier.
Apart from these few, we have many more attractive schemes
such as Gift scheme, Lockers, Collection facilities, Mail transfer etc. Pleas
contact our nearest branch for details.
Remember, this is the only bank where all types of lovers
will be waiting for you with smile. So hurry up and start banking with The
Lover’s Bank Ltd, the bank with a difference!
