The Vacant Site

This article is not about investment in a piece of land also called site or a plot. This is a pathetic story about any vacant site located in any residential or commercial area purchased with hard earned money by someone looking forward to construct a dream house in future. Alas, till then the site becomes a battle ground of sort!

The residents of neighboring house surrounding it gets an edge over others as far as convenience of throwing household garbage is concerned. They don’t have to wait for the corporation garbage collector to come calling. They can throw anything and everything from their window of first floor on to the vacant site.

Then there are those maid servants working in various houses and apartments in the locality who on the instructions of their master (read house wives) pack the household garbage in a carry bag and while going to next house on work find nothing amusing to throw the carry bag like a football on the vacant site. Their area of such operation covers several such vacant plots in their jurisdiction.

Not to be left behind, there are so called ‘educated’ class in their two wheeler or swanky car who on their way to office, stop near such vacant site, open the door and there goes the bundle of trash. Such people never look back and speed away their vehicle with lightning speed as if some marathon is going on. Such people if objected, ask us to mind our own business!

If any house or apartment is being renovated in the vicinity of such sites, rest assured the site can come very handy to dump discarded furniture to broken concrete slabs, tiles, fixtures to discarded commode! Those having garden or coconut trees in their compound find it very convenient to throw the huge leaves and coconut shells at the vacant site. Invariably broken garden pots and discarded plants find a place in these vacant sites.

In the last, I will be failing to acknowledge those rag-pickers who with their stick keep spreading all the garbage on the road in search of items valuable to them. In short, vacant sites are a necessity in our life in absence of which all road corners would turn out to be a dumping ground!!

Coterie........The Gang

A small group of people with shared interest or tastes are called a ‘Coterie’.  I heard about this word only during Emergency days of 1975 when a close group of 3-4 ministers in the then ruling party suddenly became very powerful. This bunch of powerful people was branded by opposition & the media as ‘Coterie’.  Their dikat became the last word and those who dared to oppose were hounded and either put behind the bars or made to fall in line with them. Freedom of speech took a back seat, censorship of News became order of day, those asked to bend started to crawl and Government officials suddenly got wings to harp on subordinates.

Over a period of time, I could relate to coterie in every sphere of life. Take a look at any office, one can find such coterie working overtime to ensure that their interests are protected. They keep reporting to their higher ups about all the happenings in the office & at their back. Their bondage with higher ups would be so strong that a sincere & honest junior will always be doing the additional work of that coterie. He would be externally patted for the good job but would never be rewarded with timely promotion or posting of their choice.

Writers have their own set of coterie who will be indulging in self promotion at every available platform. They work on premise-‘You praise my work, I shall do yours’. Be it a writer’s meet, book release function , felicitation function (even at their own expenses ) or routine meet, they ensure to hog the limelight  through  media coverage like photo session, interview etc. They work in unison to get  a Government or Literary awards.

Now this business has also entered into social networking sites. From time to time, I have come across comment on Face book like- ‘People expect likes and comments on their post but do not like or comment on other’s posts’, or ‘I am going to undo friendship with those who are not reading or commenting my post’! So, if you are on such social network sites and sending someone friendship request, make sure he is from your inner circle i.e. coterie so that he keeps liking/sharing your posts irrespective of the fact you like it or not otherwise one day, you would be removed from the so called Coterie.

The less said about coterie in any Association, ladies club or temple trust, the better. Unlike other fields, here the members are always divided and self interest becomes the prime goal. Once Shining India was eclipsed…….by the legal & illegal advice of the coterie. Their actions can be disastrous if not handled with care & diligence. If they can create a King or a monster, they can make a pauper as well!

The 'Saas-Bahu' Saga

Thanks to umpteen numbers of TV Channel showing never ending serials based on ‘Saas bahu’ relations day in day out so much so that the word has become synonymous with legendary figures like Rama-Laxaman, Julius- Caesar, Laila Majanu, Tom & jerry or Romeo -Juliet! Not that this prejudice is confined to older generation, many of the present day modern and educated Saas Bahu continues to carry forward the torch with the same zest and zeal , the same old time tested thoughts and ideas.

Saas keeps harping on Bahu for not getting up early in the morning, not coming to kitchen to lend help, not taking care of other family members especially elders, not keeping the house in order, not doing the pooja, doing make up without the traditional Bindi or Teeka, not removing slippers inside kitchen or pooja room, unhygienic habit of eating, and occasional threat of walking out of the house!

On the other hand, the Bahu has her own equal number of grouse against the Saas:- too rigid in following age old costumes, always playing blame game, ridiculing the bride family, exaggerated reporting and complaining  to son about her behaviors etc etc. The son finds himself sandwiched between the two and finds himself between the devil and deep sea. On one side he has to please his wife and on the other hand, pacify the mother and make compromises to keep both happy!

Family harmony, adjustments, commitment towards each other, sacrifices, understanding and respecting the need/ space for each other remain buried under the wrap of long forgotten ‘Sanskars’ (values).

The ‘Power’ Game

Every one is aware that ‘Power corrupts all’ but now we have also come to know that ‘Discretionary power’ makes the person more powerful. Discretionary power to allot prime land, government bungalows at prime location, allotment of petrol pumps and the list goes on like a never ending ‘Akshaya Patra’. A chief Minister having discretionary power can grab land and allot them to his kith &  kin at throw away price and no amount of hue and cry can challenge his authority. Their prerogative becomes their pride and prejudice for not so lucky one.

I fail to understand why opposition parties make such a noise, disrupting legislative assembly or the parliament. After all they too get chance to come to the power to make good the loss. Who else does not (mis)use his or her discretionary authority? Government officials and police personals use government vehicles for going to market, cinema or dropping their children to school, Theatre owners use their discretionary power to issue complimentary passes,  School/College authorities keep some seats vacant for hefty donors, journalist keep writing about somebody they want to promote hence why blame the politician alone.

The power of Tamil Nadu chief Minister/s is different from other states. Here who so ever is in power, the ministers and public alike, likes to treat them as powerful God having huge discretionary power and they like to fall on their feet again and again wherever they go. It reminds me of Emergency period of India when ministers were asked to bend, they started crawling!

If you think that only we are blessed with this discretionary power, then think hard again. Do not be surprised if I tell you that even our Gods have different level of powers. There is a ‘Visa Balaji’ temple in Hyderabad where if you go and pray the lord, getting visa becomes very easy surpassing all the hassles of going to consulates! There is no dearth of Balaji temples in our country but this one has special discretionary power to grant Visa. I heard that similarly a ‘Hanuman Temple’ exists some where in Northern India specializing in Visa.

There are some powerful Devi temples where a childless woman can get conceived after prayers there or a powerful ‘Shani’ Temple like the one at Thirunallar near Pondicherry to ward off all your problems. Not all Devi or Shani temple Gods have this charismatic discretionary power bestowed upon them. Who has not heard of ‘Siddhi Vinayaka temple’ of Mumbai which is patronized by our Bollywood fraternity for its super power which the next door/ street Vinayaka temple has not got. People throng the Tirupathi Balji temple with their long list of demands and wishes in lieu of all their ill gotten wealth in return, but the Balaji temple next to my house does not attract the same crowd.

In short, it’s all in the game-The Power game. More the power, more the powerful one is, be it a politician or the God.

LOC- The Line of Control

This article is not about our country’s border issue where actual line of control (LOC) exists. Any intruder crossing the LOC lands in trouble and sometime become a contention for war between two countries. Similar situation exists elsewhere also.

While moving around in a big city like Bangalore, one often come across traffic signals which to me are no less than a LOC. Believe me or else observe it yourselves next time. The heavy traffic built up on both sides of road at a traffic signal is like troops across LOC almost ready to strike at the command of the traffic signal. So are the people in two or four wheelers waiting restlessly for the green signal. Their one hand or leg would be throttling the gear to full extent while the other one would be pressing the clutch to release it any moment. Fingers would be on horn button for continuous honking and the moment signal turns green, all hell breaks loose. The Great War begins and now it’s a race against time.

Two wheelers starts zooming from all possible sides and space including side walk while the desperate four wheeler drivers get busy honking even before the signal turns green. For a few seconds, there would be utter chaos and confusion. Nobody would be able to move an inch. The army of all kinds of vehicle across both sides would be face to face with no one ready to give way to the other. In the meantime some gentleman would start abusive/verbal duel which goes on for some time. The traffic police would be watching this battle helplessly for some time and then enters the ‘Chakravyuh” to pacify the desperate road soldiers. In the next 30/60 seconds , the light turns red and the battle comes to a halt as if ceasefire is declared but later continues again……

Another kind of LOC can be seen in front of those houses where there is a road and big trees. The dry leaves keep falling on the road but the point of contention arises between house owners staying in the vicinity of the tree as well opposite of it. Who should clean up the mess everyday on the road because the civic authority do not arrange for sweeping of the road. Even though there may not be any mutual understanding, it is presumed that only that portion of road in front of the house would be cleaned which falls in front of their house that is half side of the road. The other half falls in front of the opposite house so they should clean up. Thus, a LOC is drawn.

There would always be a possibility of a war if the bunch of leaves while sweeping flies or comes in the territory of the other.One can always vouch for the undercurrent of a cold war brewing up. One thing is sure that they would be keeping a watch on each other like a hawk while any one of them is sweeping to find if they are deliberately pushing the leaves across LOC and rest assured, that day would be a dooms day!

Just Five Minutes Syndrome!

“Sir, I will be there in just 5 minutes”. 

All of us might have heard this many number of times from friends, clients, relatives or anybody else in our day to day routine, but do they really come in 5 minutes? Does these 5 minutes are for today, tomorrow or the day after?

My experience with electricians, plumbers, carpenters, tailors, iron-wallah etc is that they will never turn up at the promised time. If your tailor asks you to come after 2 days, rest assured, your cloths would not be ready even on 3^rd day. When you go to him the next day, he will ask you with a smile on his face to ‘just wait for 5 minutes’. The other day a computer technician was uploading anti virus software on my computer when he got a call from some one. Knowing well that it takes anything from 1 to 2 hours to install the software, he told the caller that he would be there in 5 minutes. It took full 3 hours for him to complete the job at my place! Think of the poor caller who may be waiting for him leaving all his other engagements of the day.

I am still not able to figure out what’s so special about this 5 minutes syndrome. Why not people say 3 minutes, 7 minutes or 2 hours, why only 5 minutes?  I often ask my electrician, tailor or iron man to tell me an extended date and time providing all the cushion for urgent work on hand and the delays in commuting but even than they are not able to stick to their promised time. They plead their helplessness citing ‘Sab Chalta Hai’ attitude without any regret. In a place like Bangalore traffic jams, diversion of road, break down of vehicle due to pot holes are the best excuses for delay.

Even if somebody is MBA, MBBS or MCA, when it comes to mathematics, they fall short of proper calculations. We are all poor at calculation to visulise how much time does it require to complete a given task or to reach a designated place taking in to the account frequency of transport and traffic conditions of the city. If we are able to do these mathematical calculations in our mind beforehand, I bet you would never tell others that ‘You will be there in 5 minutes’!

It is high time we make an attempt of attitudinal shift from ‘Indian standard time’ to something concrete, focused, disciplined, punctual time befitting to the concept of time management.

Fifty Crores Bonanza

Come elections or ‘vote of confidence motion’, horse trading word gets momentum in political parlance. Now, Karnataka state is witnessing this melee.Both ruling and opposition parties are leveling horse trading charges against each other. If news report is to be believed, each MLA on sale is getting whooping 50 crores for cross over!

How come this word has come in to use in political field? In olden times, people used to carry huge amount of gold and diamonds on the back of a horse traversing miles and miles across the continent for trade & commerce purpose. So this word emerged wherever talks of trade arose. In politics it became a trade of MLAs and MPs. Now politics is no more a mission, it has become a trade where these so called people’s representatives are traded in plush resorts, sea side pools or in 5 star spas. These MLAs move in a group like (black) sheep and cattle.

Have you ever wondered how these 50 crores are traded? I have absolutely no idea but I just wonder if these are carried in a jute sack or in a suit case? Where are the godowns from where the supply is made? There must be a distributing point. Then again, where do they keep all these money? I remember, several years back there was a CBI raid on a Government official’s bungalow and crores of rupees were unearthed from his bed rooms. They were shoved inside the pillows and mattresses. Family members used to sleep over it. What a luxury without getting a sound sleep!

Recently there was TV news that currency notes were found flowing in a river. During our time, we used to read in textbooks that once upon a time India was so rich that milk used to flow like a river. But not any more, now milk is a scarce commodity and scary too for the heart patents. What a progress from Milky River to Currency River!

Coming back to the question, where do they keep all the ill-gotten money? They can not keep in bank locker because the moment sack is brought to the bank, cat would be out. A deposit in benami name is also ruled out as furnishing of PAN number is insisted upon. Any investment in real estate above 30 lacs requires reporting to IT officials. Yes, Gold can be one option despite soaring price. Gold bricks can easily be hidden any where even beneath the ground without any possibility of damage or erosion to the gold.

Sometimes I envy those ‘not so educated politicians’ whose sharp mind are able to find ways and means to amaze and hide in such a way that sometimes even the professionally trained investigating agencies are not able to detect any thing whereas ‘we the educated class’ can not even think of a place to hide our hard earned few thousands of rupees in our house which often gets robbed by white collared robbers or gets stolen by miscreants.

The way we are! (Sab Chalta Hai)

The other day I was going on an evening stroll when suddenly a man came running to me.

‘Sir, I was just waiting for you to come this way’ beaming with excitement he said ‘look Sir, do you see this pothole on the road? Why don’t you write something about it? So many people have tripped here, autos and cars bumped in to it, a lady’s backbone got dislocated and still no body bothers to take up the matter with civic authority!’

I noticed that the pothole was right in front of his newly built house. In addition, there was also a wide road cutting across the road for taking the water connection. The newly laid road was dug up to erect a ‘pandal’ on the occasion of the ‘house warming ceremony’! When I coolly blamed him for this, he got a shock of his life. After spending lacs & lacs of rupees on construction, who bothers to cover up the dug up portion and road cuttings with debris if not concrete costing a few rupees only? People’s responsibility ends up with the deposit for the road cutting charges with the civic authority; rest is none of any body’s job.

It is quite normal to observe the office ‘Babus’ discussing office matters and higher ups corrupt practices  sipping a cup of tea in canteen or tea shops but some of them never fail to bring home office stationery like white papers, pen, pencils, carbon papers and erasers for their children. Claiming reimbursement of expenses for conveyance, cleaning materials, doctor’s fee or even LTC on fake receipts is common in Government offices and PSUs.

Good number of people talking about discipline never fails to jump the queue at the bus stops, railway/bus ticket counters or even at temples to get priority ‘darshan’. Youngsters talking about traffic & lane discipline at various forums take short cuts through one way, jump the traffic signal or move their two wheelers on to the footpath in order to go ahead of all waiting traffic.

Talking about the ethics of journalists and TV reporters who keep exposing scandals after scandals too can be found to fall prey to malpractices by politicians, film people and page -3 personalities who entertain them with fat envelopes and 5 star parties. The ills of dowry harassment continues and now cases of ‘harassed husbands’ are coming to light. There are so many issues, issues for thoughts and to write about but the million dollars question is who is listening and who is acting upon?

Farewell function

No body knows how the system of ‘Farewell function’ for out going staff in offices originated, but every body knows that it is the best time for shedding crocodile tears and showering undue praises by certain staff members. How so ever congenial atmosphere prevail in offices, there would be some, who will be happy in their hearts over the exit of their boss or colleague.

It is these people who try to put all kinds of hurdles in arranging the farewell. Arranging a farewell in itself is a herculean task, especially when it comes to collecting the contribution for the function. The person taking the initiative has to listen to all kinds of comments and abuses like“Why should I pay so much when less was paid last time” or“What happened to excess collected last time, no body gave the expenditure break up” or“Even when I paid so much no body cared about me in the function”.

Then, there would be series of discussion, agreement and disagreements as to who will give the farewell speech, who will garland & hand over the bouquet, who will take the photos and who will arrange the snacks. The farewell speech would always be in praise of the outgoing person listing all his good qualities even if he has none and how every one in the office would miss him or her.

The whole process of farewell function is routine that others become restless if the function is delayed or prolonged. People start looking at the wall clock and eagerly wait for the function to come to an end so that they can grab the snacks and run home. After listening to the speech it would appear that the outgoing person is indispensable but the moment the function is over, people heave a sigh of relief as if they have bid a farewell to a monster! The atmosphere in the office comes to the normal next day as if no one is missing anybody.

Sweet & sour

COMMON MAN

- ‘Hello mister, I will sit near the window seat. I have already kept my luggage on the seat.’

- ‘But sir, I got in to the compartment first to occupy this seat. I just had gone out to have a cup of tea”

-‘So, what? Does this seat belong to your forefathers?’

-‘Look sir, don’t call names’

-‘You don’t know me. I am a famous writer and I want to study looking beyond the windows for my next article’.

-Sir, you may be a great writer, but I am the ‘common man’ of your articles’. So saying, the common man pushed aside the writer’s luggage and sat near the window puffing ‘Beedi’.

PENSIONER

There was a long queue at the Pension counter. Old and infirm were waiting for the counter to open. When the clerk arrived, he announced that only those will be paid the pension who have brought the ‘Life Certificate’ duly attested by a banker or gazetted officer.

Suddenly a young man appeared at counter, winked at the clerk and handed over the life certificate. The clerk stamped it as ‘verified’ and paid the money to him. No one in the queue knew that the life certificate produced by the young man was that of his father who died, 5 years ago.

ANTI SOCIAL ELEMENT

It was an election time and the leader was giving a fiery speech. Suddenly he saw a jeep approaching the dais with few people sitting atop shouting slogans. In a panic state, the leader pointing towards the jeep started shouting over the mike-

‘Look, these people are coming to disrupt the meeting; they don’t want a fair and peaceful election. They are anti social elements,  they are goondas……..’ suddenly the fiery leader became speechless. The occupants of the jeep were his own party men!

.(All the three short satires were translated from my own Hindi satires  published in 1979-80)

Morning Pickers

You have heard of morning walker and flower pickers but who are these morning pickers? If you are an early morning walker, next time watch those ladies and some senior citizens carrying a bag or carry bag with them. Amidst joggers and health freaks, you will observe these bag carrying walkers keeping a sharp eye on road side flower plants in front of houses and bungalows. For a moment they stop, glance around and start picking the flowers in a hurry and sometimes break the branches. They will try to pick as much as possible and quickly move on to the next street or road in search of more such booty. Seldom are they caught and seeking prior permission from the owner does not arise.

Older people trudging slowly with the stick in hand are not so quick like ladies but they too try their luck plucking flowers here and there. Sometimes when the bunch of flowers is inside the compound wall, first they try to climb the grilled compound and then with the help of walking stick in hand try to get hold of the bunch even if it is risky, unmindful of the open storm water drain nearby.

The house owners who are nurturing the plants as hobby and flowers for own use either get nothing or have to be contended with whatever is left out. Sometimes if by chance owner objects, they have stock replies in retaliation- “ This is a public road and trees, plants grown out side the compound wall is public property” or “Why don’t you also pluck them before any body else does” or “ We are plucking them for offering to God, who are you to stop”.  Here ‘Do not pluck flowers’ notice carry no sense.

One should observe the glow and sense of victory when these pickers are able to lay hands on handful of flowers even if it costs mere rupees five if purchased legitimately. At the end of the morning walk, these pickers feel pride in their achievement. After all ultimately, these flowers are offered to the God for prosperity and enlightenment!

In search of an answer

Have you ever wondered why people starts pelting stones at shops and buses whenever a high profile celebrity like a film star or mass leader/ politician dies? All of a sudden, from no where they get all the stock of stones, rods and wooden logs to carry out the mass destruction? Why the administration & police become a helpless mute spectator to burning down of vehicles, destruction of public properties and looting of showrooms. There are ample appropriate laws to deal with such a situation but the perpetrators of hooliganism and political party supporters to such riots are never punished. Long rope given by the law makers and keepers encourages future happenings.

‘3 idiots’ raised a storm over the story writer issue. The original writer Chetan Bhagat was all over the TV channels for a day but the heat generated by the hype died the very next day. I am still figuring out if it is a case of ‘Pen is mightier than……’ or the other way round. From the beginning, writers are an exploited lot, under paid and often made to shell out from their own pocket to bring out their book in the market. Now, they have to promote their own book through ‘book reading session’ or ‘sit in’ at book stores.

The issue of National film awards and Republic day Padma Shree Awards of late raises lot of eyebrows every year. Whoever thought that a film like ‘Oye lucky oye’ deserves a prestigious national award or Saif ali khan a padma shree must ponder over their histrionic? Why is that a common man from the street or a slum and not associated with any NGO silently doing some thing for the poor and needy gets the award?

There are umpteen number of Music and Film channels churning out the same songs and films day in & day out. How many of these so called Music channels have regular slot for classical songs, folk songs, devotional songs, folk music, talk shows by music teachers, music directors, singers or any programme on imparting training in music instruments? Similarly, which of the film channels has slot for award winning films, old classics, programmes on the art of film making, film appreciation, film direction or film editing etc?

Every now and than politicians keep talking to media on some or the other issue and whenever a hue & cry is raised by the public, they make a shameless U turn saying that the media has ‘misquoted’ them or they bluntly deny the report even when said by them in camera! What makes them utter some thing which has to be denied later is a bone of contention? News channels create hype on certain issue for a day or two and sleep on it like a government. All of a sudden several years later a case like Ruchika’s crop up springing a surprise and leaving every one bewildered.

E-Terrorism!

Even if you are not computer savvy but have an email account, than it is for sure to have encountered email terrorist attack on your mail box. Wondering who these terrorists are and what are they up to?
Definitely you must have got mails at some point of time from your own near and dear ones with a beautiful picture of some God or Goddess and asking you to concentrate on its eyes to reap many fold benefits or witness some kind of miracle in your life to happen in the next 7 days. Needless to say that normally such kind of unsolicited chain mails keep coming on your mail box. These mails with spiritual or religious sentiments attached come with statutatory warning that the chain should not be discontinued to avail the benefit and also must be forwarded to another 10 persons failing which you shall encounter some miss happening! And lo! You are in soup what to do next, to forward the mail or not. God only knows who the perpetrators of such mails are and what their agenda is but one thing is sure, the threat and the fear factor works. Invariably, the recipient of such mail is tempted to pass on the buck on to another 10 persons. This is what I term as e-terrorism!
In a similar manner, there is one more kind of e-terrorism not in the nature of chain mails which keep popping up on to your mail box. These are bound to rob you off if not acted wisely. Sample this:-
“Congratulations, your email Id has been selected by our electronic random selection system for a cash prize of US$ 50, 00,000/-” OR “You have won a UK lottery of 165, 50,000 pounds in our monthly draw, Congratulation!”
In such mails, you are asked to send them Bank details; password, email Id password, etc along with foreign remittance of few thousands to cover handling charges. What happens next should be well known to avid readers of any newspaper. The bank account is hacked and computer injected with virus through e-terrorism!

Noise Polution

Six years back we were very happy to shift our house from Dr Rajkumar road in Rajajinagar to Vidyaranyapura. It was a nightmare to continue stay at Rajkumar road where the traffic is ever increasing with entire road becoming commercial now. The sound of all kinds of vehicle are so strong that neither we could hear our family conversation nor watch any programme on TV without any disturbance. In fact, the floor of our house used to vibrate whenever heavy vehicles passed through the road.

On the contrary, our new place Vidyaranyapura tucked far away from the maddening crowd, was in a serene quite atmosphere free from the dust and noise pollution when we shifted 6 years back. It was aptly named ‘Vidya-Aranya-pura ’meaning a Jungle area. We heaved a sigh of relief on shifting. We thought that at least now we could lead a peaceful life. But our joy was short lived. To our utter disappointment, the vast green fields around our area soon started vanishing and concrete jungle of houses and flats started coming up in all the direction at a very fast pace. Roads became dusty and uneven due to constant invasion of heavy trucks loaded with construction materials and bore well drilling machines. Road-cuttings became order of the day in all the lanes and by lanes to give vehicle owners, specially two wheelers jerks of their life time. These road cutting became a permanent feature never to be repaired again by any one.

With the new residents coming in with their pet dogs and stray dogs arriving in full strength from no where completed the corum to disturb others only at a time when somebody wanted peace and rest. How can Street vendors, beggars and ‘Basavannas’ remain far behind. They all joined together to add to the noise level. If this was not enough, than there are sounds at odd hours of ‘reverse gear siren’ of different tones fitted in cars or people honking near their own house entrance gate till some body opens the gate!

Now, we are in a fix whether to shift still further to another ‘Aranya’ or to live with the same kind of Noise & dust pollution!